"[My relationships were] like I was in these movies where the script was only half-written. When I’d get to the end of this half-script, the other actors wanted me to ad lib. But I had never gotten the hang of that. That’s why these movies were always box-office failures. Six of them in the past twenty years. I always blew the lines." ~ from my horrible first novel "Learn How To Pretend." (unpublished)(obviously)

Monday, April 01, 2013

Another poem for April 1st

Understating the Obvious
(You can’t make this stuff up)

True story: A man in Israel recently
wrestled a leopard in his underwear.
Facts: The leopard was not in the man’s underwear.
And the man, though he was wrestling,
was wearing boxer shorts.

The leopard leapt
through the bedroom window,
to eat the housecat
who was sleeping with the man
and his small daughter
who was sleeping with her father
because she had been frightened
by a mosquito
in her own bedroom.

The man leapt
up in his underwear and wrestled
the leopard to the ground.
He threw a full-nelson onto the cat
and pinned it until authorities arrived.

He was later quoted as saying:

“This sort of thing
doesn’t happen
every day.”

© 2007 Rick Robb

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