"[My relationships were] like I was in these movies where the script was only half-written. When I’d get to the end of this half-script, the other actors wanted me to ad lib. But I had never gotten the hang of that. That’s why these movies were always box-office failures. Six of them in the past twenty years. I always blew the lines." ~ from my horrible first novel "Learn How To Pretend." (unpublished)(obviously)

Monday, November 26, 2012


Note: This actually occurred about a month from now -- I'm just burying it for future reference. Honestly, what are you doing reading this far back on my blog?

Excerpt from a listserv post:

As it turned out, we wound up having a second date -- met for coffee sort of last minute -- today. It was really nice. This story is going to take the scenic route, so feel free to move along to the next post.

Here's the thing [[WOO ALERT!!]] back when I first joined the pod I shared my story about my vision regarding the Kennedy assassination. As I mentioned there, who/whatever showed me that was, I believe, not doing so to warn me (a five-year-old Canadian) about what was about to happen, but chose something of such magnitude that it would remain a part of American culture for decades. It was, in effect, Dr. Seuss's Whos shouting "We are Here!!!!" or, as I'm coming to see it, the Universe is saying "Some trippy shit is about to happen. Pay attention!"

Uhhhmmmm. Ah, yes, the date. Let's call her "Elaine."

1.) Well, this woman is a psychotherapist who, until recently worked with children-- now she does training. But she does travel on short-term trips to other countries where she works with  kids who have experienced major loss and/or trauma. (Have I mentioned that I have a son who has PTSD/RAD? and Aspergers?) She mentioned to me the other day that she wants to do longer-term trips in Africa, specifically, Uganda, Rwanda, Tanzania, and/or Kenya (countries where there are a lot of children who are victims of war and genocide). This is, her friends joke, an "obsession."

2.)  About 4 months ago, at my writers' group --which was made up entirely of grad student friends from the Creative Writing program -- I met a woman who was not a grad student, but just happened to take a class with some of my friends. This woman is Irish and has spent the past 10(?) years working for the UN doing refugee resettlement in... care to guess? yes, Uganda, Rwanda, Tanzania, and Kenya. What is she doing in Albuquerque? She met a guy, an engineer, online while she lived in Africa. He had not lived here in years. He does a lot of work in the middle east and also in mining areas around the southwest. They got married about 4 years ago and were based out of Uganda. A little over a year ago she got pregnant. They decided that they didn't want to have the baby in Africa, so they returned to the states. The husband's parents still lived in Albuquerque and had a house across the street from theirs that the new family could use. She had the baby 8 months ago. Just after I met her she was telling me she'd gotten an offer to go back  to Africa. She really wanted to take it, but didn't want to take the baby there just yet, didn't want to subject him to all the shots. So she's still here -- right when I meet Elaine. So they are going to get together to talk about how the date-woman can connect with groups or agencies in those countries to do longer-term work.

3.)  That seems to be one of the major things, but there've been other minor things. Yesterday an old friend arrived in town. This is a woman who was my photographer when I was running an advertising department here. This woman was born deaf and had to have many surgeries to help correct it. She wears a Cochlear device to hear. As a result of her birth-defect, her mother became a Speech Language Pathologist. The friend grew up, went to school to become a photographer, but has changed her mind and is now pursuing an SLP Masters on the East coast. The connection to my story? This friend and her mother have spent, roughly, the past 10 years traveling to other countries on these sort of work/service/tourism jaunts and working with hearing-impaired children.

4.)  I have another friend (unfortunately these are all women, so there's not a lot of distinction) who I met in Grad School as well. One of the most delightful humans I've ever known -- just really solid energy. A few years ago, she was misdiagnosed with, iirc, severe migraines. Turned out it was a major brain tumor. She had to drop out of school and she sort of disappeared from our lives for a while. I ran into her (about 4 months ago) at the Unitarian Church one Sunday. We talked briefly, but she said to me that she'd always sensed I was a "fellow traveler" (not like in the communist sense :~) ). Then she sort of disappeared again. Yesterday I wrote to to Elaine that I really connected with her because (referring back to my friend's comment) "Souls on the same journey know a fellow traveler when they encounter one another on the path." And last night I went to the writers' group and my friend was there -- her first time coming. I was sitting at the table her on my left, and the Irishwoman on the right.

5.)   We met at a coffee shop near my house today. I've been there several times. It's a nice little place with really positive energy. Turns out that Elaine works about a mile away and generally gets her coffee there in the morning and does some meetings there. Today she took off early from work to head up to Santa Fe. Anyway, I started telling her about my son who has the various diagnoses. NM has notoriously poor psychiatric services for children. And Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is something that very few of them know anything about. There's a guy in Texas who's, like, the expert. Almost everything I know about RAD and attachment disorders comes from this guy's work. There are few people who use his methods, but none of them do direct one-on-one with the kids, so they are really just passing along info. Anyway, his name is Dr. Bruce Perry. Today Elaine says to me "Do you know who Bruce Perry is? I'm one of a small group of people who trained under him here in the state."

6.)  At the coffee shop, Elaine and I were talking about child psychology stuff (sooo romantic) and who should walk through the door? My second to last Ex. This was a woman I'd parted with amicably. She's also the queen of woo. She's very in tune with the workings of the universe. Oh, I have not laid eyes on her in over 6 years. She's a Doctor of Oriental Medicine and, well, her new office is 300 yards from the coffee shop. Why was she there? She doesn't even drink coffee. If Elaine hadn't left work early, we would not have been there when Dr. Woo ExGF came in. This was clearly, to me, the Universe saying "You thing this is all coincidence? Yeah. No. Think again." (Because that's how the universe talks.)

7.) Elaine is Jewish. I admitted to her today that my father was a Hitler Youth when he was growing up in Germany. This isn't part of the Woo, but I was concerned about it. We're all good.

So, there was this convergence of people working in other countries. Several things happened 4 months ago -- about the same time as my previous relationship had collapsed. Several people seemed to cross my path yesterday and and today and, as well, several key conversations occurred with various people yesterday that have just left me feeling all.... cosmic and shit like that.

As I told Elaine today, I don't know what this is all about. It may be about connecting her with her obsession with Africa. Or it may be, like the Kennedy premonition, the Universe saying "Pay Attention! Things are about to get interesting! Nothing happens by accident." And I don't know if we'll end up being best friends, True Companions, or sworn mortal enemies, but it's sure to be interesting.

It doesn't hurt that she's cute :~)

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