"[My relationships were] like I was in these movies where the script was only half-written. When I’d get to the end of this half-script, the other actors wanted me to ad lib. But I had never gotten the hang of that. That’s why these movies were always box-office failures. Six of them in the past twenty years. I always blew the lines." ~ from my horrible first novel "Learn How To Pretend." (unpublished)(obviously)

Monday, October 15, 2012

I'm not proud. Or tired.

Shit. I did a week off the bottle. Something occurred, maybe on Saturday and I bought a bottle. Something set me off.

Well, it was my own damned weakness, is what it was. I finished that bottle yesterday. Bought another tonight after the Buddhist meditation.  It's been a bit of a shit evening. But it's been a bit enlightening.

I need to get this shit under control. I'm not strong enough to do this on my own. I'm not sure WHY I need to do it, but I think I do.

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